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  Hello folks, and welcome to this week’s edition of Sexy Action Sports Saturday with IHM. First things first, a Happy Father’s Day Eve to all the proud papas here at the Gab. With the way this world is changing over the past couple of years, it’s becoming more and more of a rarity to see men actually make an effort to feed and support their children, let alone spending time with them, teaching them the things necessary from a male influence in their lives. Call me old fashioned, old school, whatever the hell you want to, but I think one of the bigger problems we face as a society right now is the lack of a male presence in such an increasing amount of homes. I know all of the men around here don’t consider it a big deal to do what we do every day, work, come home, spend time with the family… but when you look at what is going on around you, it really is. For all of us, it’s just doing what we’re supposed to do, what is right. It’s just sad to me to see the decline we’re seeing in this country when it comes to men doing what the hell they’re supposed to do, and not simply being sperm donors.

   That said, how about this disgusting story out of Tennessee, where three men have a combined 78 children with  46 women. The first, Terry Turnage, has 23 kids via 17 different women. The second, Richard Colbert, has 25 with 18. The biggest piece of shit of the three, Desmond Hatchett, has 30 kids with 11 different women. Yeah, you guessed it, zero child support from ANY of them… so tax dollars that you and I pay are what is paying for these asshole’s kids. Of course, your first thought is what kind of dumb bitch keeps laying down with these deadbeats… honestly, I get sick of these dumb gashes getting not only a free pass, but actually getting SYMPATHY when they have 3 kids with the same fucking loser that does NOTHING to help them out. Maybe try keeping your fucking legs closed next time, baby mama. But for me at least, on this day before father’s day, it makes me wonder why the hell these bastards haven’t been fucking neutered!

   Before you just think “well, there’s that old crackpot IHM, ranting and raving again”, hear me out. This is becoming a fucking epidemic in this country. “Boys”, because you sure as fuck can’t call them men, having numerous kids with numerous women, and not paying a fucking cent to raise them… not making a single fucking contribution to their lives. And, as I said earlier, who foots the bill for these fucking kids… you and I do out of our tax dollars through these bullshit social programs. Why do you think we’re trillions of dollars in fucking debt? It’s not ALL dipshit politicians making poor decisions (though that IS a large part)… we’re simply spending much, much more than what is going into these types of programs. The way I look at it, if you have ONE kid that you don’t take care of, you should get your shit snipped. But, in the interest of “fairness”… to nobody but the piece of shit that keeps having kids and not taking care of them and to no one else… let’s give them two. If you have at least two children out there, and have made zero legitimate effort to support your child, you should be fucking neutered. I’d go so far as to say castration… but I guess that would be a bit “extreme” to get me anywhere. And I’m not talking about sending ten dollars a fucking month to your baby mama, either… I’m talking about paying AT LEAST a hundred dollars per month in child support… PER CHILD. If not, snip that fucking deadbeat!

   Well, now that THAT’S out of my system, how about some sports talk, eh? Hey, the Tigers actually played well for a while, taking 4 of 6 from the Reds and Cubs on the road. Then, unfortunately, they came home… and lost last night to the fucking Rockies. A 4-3 week really isn’t going to dig you out of the hole you’re in, Tigers. Luckily, they’re in a weak assed division, and only 4 games out of first behind Chicago and Cleveland.

   For those of you out there who thought the National’s Bryce Harper wasn’t ready for the Biggs… just listen to how he responded when asked if he was “taking advantage of” the legal drinking age of 19 in Canada by a Toronto reporter. “That’s a clown question, bro.” Of course, the even bigger story here is that Bryce Harper is a Mormon… why the hell didn’t I know that? I don’t know why… but that’s what disturbs me about that story.

   Gotta love the pitching performances we’ve seen so far this year… five no-hitters, including two perfect games, the latest by the Gaints’ Matt Cain, whose perfecto included 14 strikeouts, and was even referred to as the “greatest pitching performance ever” by some guy at ESPN. Was it… hell if I know, but I’m sure there are a few that were just a bit better. But putting this in perspective as Frag did yesterday, we are just 62 or so games into the season, and we’ve already got five no-hitters, including at least two one-hitters by Justin Verlander and R.A. Dickey, who lost his appeal of a questionable hit/error play which ruined his no-hit bid earlier this week.

  Are we looking at a new dead ball era here? What is the root cause of all this sudden influx of pitching talent… is it an increase in the overall talent pool, or is it that “Sherrif Bud” and the MLBPA have cleaned up a majority of the steroids that ran wild in the 90’s and early 2000’s? When you look around, you really have to think that it’s a combination of the two. Most of the dominant pitchers in the game right now, Verlander, Strasberg, Price, Darvish and Sale, are still fairly young. Hell, just 30 starts into his Major League career, Strasberg is 14-5 with a 2.50 ERA, including 216 K’s. Any way you look at it, it’s an exciting time to watch baseball… because you never know when that next bit of history is going to happen.

   How about a nice little bit of justice served for a change, as Pac Man Jones has been ordered to pay $11 million dollars in restitution to two Las Vegas strip club employees, including the club’s manager who has been left paralyzed from the waist down because of the shooting Jones’ orchestrated after he and his entourage were kicked out of the club in 2007. Of course, his lawyer is crying poverty… but I say fuck that… make this tool sell everything he owns to pay it off, don’t give him a free fucking pass. Hell, the guy SHOULD be in jail. In a related story, Jones is also expected to speak at a rookie symposium next week about his legal problems. Hopefully, if nothing else, this asshat’s presence deters at least one of the new crop of rookies from wanting to “make it rain” inside a strip club at any point.

   My biggest question so far this offseason… why the hell is anybody talking about Tim Tebow at this point? The Jets just gave Sanchize a massive contract, Tebow is not going to be any more than a gimmick player for that team. Just because this is so fucking annoying, here’s a little Tebowie:

   As for the NBA Finals, the Heat tied things up 1-1 the other night in OKC… and LeBron still hasn’t made a shot in the 4th quarter that meant a damn thing. Now they head back to Miami, and hopefully the Thunder can get a split there, too. My biggest question, why the fuck is this series so damn drawn out? Do they really need two travel days to get from Oklahoma City to Miami? Good God, get this crap over with already and get on to another pointless season of NBA basketball, so we can all get back to hating LeBron all over again. Hopefully a LeBron with zero rings. I’ll give “the Association” a little credit, though. You can’t say they’re screwing the Thunder… the calls have been fairly even to this point of the series. Let’s see if that changes any when the series takes its’ talents to South Beach.

     One more note before I go, Lions’ second-year RB Mikel Leshore was suspended two games for being arrested for pot twice this offseason (so far), and will be docked two more game checks once he comes back. That’s two positives… two free games for the Lions from this dumbass, and a little less money in his pocket to burn on hippie lettuce. This guy better be worth all this bullshit… I’d hope he’s on a very, very short leash at this point.

  That’s all I’ve got this week, folks. Thanks as always for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. Have a great weekend Gabbers.

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David Furman