Hello Gabbers and welcome to another Sexy Action Sports Saturday with you old pal, IHM. To start things off, I’d like to offer my heartfelt congratulations to Felber and all the other Raven fans out there on winning the Super Bowl.  

  And with the Super Bowl in the books, this week, we’ve started the long road in between football ending and more football, as now we have to wait til’ next August for the NFL preseason to begin again. Sure, there is free agency, draft talk, but without the actual games, it’s just not the same. Sure, there is basketball, hockey, and even baseball in between, but we all know in our heart of hearts, nothing holds quite the same place as football does, be it college or NFL.

  But, so far this offseason the Lions have given me plenty to rant about since the end of the season. Whether it was the Titus Young saga, the fact that the Lions were nearly $3 million OVER the cap with several players entering free agency, or finally cutting Young, Peterman and Vanden Bosh this week. But, the biggest story might have been the most low key story; the Lions hire of former Broncos GM Brian Xanders as the “senior personnel executive”. Now, as some of you may know, may not know, over the past couple of decades, the Detroit Lions did not even have a scouting department. That’s right, they outsourced it, had a private firm do it, and that’s where they got their grades for players and how they developed their draft plans. Now, they’ve got a guy with a solid track record in house to take care of it. The main thing here… finally, after ten plus years of inept drafting, and some pretty inept moves in free agency to be frank, the Lions are changing the way they do business. It is a beautiful thing, and I hope Xanders can have the same level of success here as he did from 2008-2011 with Denver. While the final decision still rests with Mayhew on all player decisions, it’s good to know he’s got a solid brain working for him now.

  But, this is a Lions team that is facing a number of major issues this offseason. #1 would have to be cap room. Going into this week, the Lions were $3.5 million OVER the cap… after cutting Titus Young, Kyle Vanden Bosh, and Steven Peterman, they now have a little over $5 million available for free agency. Next on the chopping block may be Dominic Raolia, and perhaps even Jeff Backus, who command a lot more money than they are worth on the offensive line, but Backus is a question mark because of the inexperience of Riley Reiff and the uncertainty of being able to retain Gosder Cherilus, who has quietly become one of the more solid RT’s in football.

   The two other obvious choices are #1, sign Matt Stafford to a more cap-friendly contract, and #2, trade Ndumakung Suh and get that contract off the books. Is Suh one of the best players at his position? Yes. Is he a game changer? Yes. I’m not saying it’s the easy thing to do, but you just can’t have three high draft choices on the same roster like this from the old system. Between Stafford, Johnson and Suh, in my eyes, Suh is the odd man out. Here’s one trade idea… see if the Raiders are still taking on the “bad boys”, and offer up Suh, your first rounder and third rounder in exchange for the Raiders’ 1,2,3, and 4 picks in the 2013 draft. Extra second rounder, move up two spots in the 1^st and 3^rd rounds, and you get the 4^th round pick you’re missing this year. Not like the Raiders are losing their ass on the deal, either. Plus, it gives you a chance to move up and snag either Milliner from Bama or Damontre Moore from Texas A&M. Any way you look at it, whether they make a trade or not, this is a draft where the Lions need to come out with at least 3 starters, and a few players that actually make the roster. Remember the 2011 draft… yeah, the Lions only have two players left on the roster from that draft after cutting Titus Young.

   GM Martin Mayhew has recently come out and said, in a rare public appearance, that the Lions will be “major players in the FA market”. Hard to envision that with just 5 million to spend, and several of your own players that need to be resigned currently. It is going to take some doing, but the Lions are going to have to shed some major cash and quick. Between the draft and what will have to be a creative free agent signing period, the Lions are going to need a lot this offseason.

  Attention Big Ten Conference; you have officially been put on notice… this is Urban Meyer’s hood, and you all answer to him. First, the guy walks into town, goes 12-0 in his first year, then comes up with the #1 recruiting class in the conference the next year. Now, it seems he’s looking to change the rules in the B1G as far as recruiting and the academic standards related to it. He dropped a bomb on the Big Ten’s little sisters, pointing out the fact that the SEC has 7 schools in the top 25… and 11 in the top 25 recruiting wise, compared to three Big Ten schools on each list. Kentucky is the lowest ranked SEC team in terms of recruiting at #39 in the country. SEVEN Big Ten schools are ranked below Kentucky. Fucking Kentucky. You know, Urban Meyer comes off as cocky, and hell, he probably is, but maybe he’s got a valid point here. If the Big Ten wants to get out of the past and be able to compete for national championships at any point, they need to step their game up. If you want to do that, follow the man with the two rings on his pimp hand… two more rings than the rest of the conference’s coaches have combined!

  Speaking of the Big Ten… apparently the family of Joe Paterno just doesn’t know that it’s time to shut the fuck up now. Now his wife is making the rounds, talking to the media about how the Freeh Report is flawed and biased, and how their report is better. Yeah, I’m SURE there was no bias involved there!  I will never understand why the family of Joe Paterno would continue to make themselves a spectacle like this. Hell, I hadn’t thought about Paterno since the last time I saw Penn State football played. Guess what, when I used to think of Joe Paterno, I thought Penn State football. Now, I still think Penn State football… namely why I will always hate Penn State football. I really hope this is the last publicity blitz these idiots are out for. Your late husband was a spineless coward who cared more about his success on the field than he did about the welfare of children. Nobody aside from the idiots in Happy Valley chanting “We are Penn State” thinks of him any differently anymore. Just do the world a favor and shut the hell up.

    Attention Tigers fans, Johnny Peralta is one of several names mentioned along with Alex Rodriguez’s latest PED bust. That’s right, Johnny visited the same South Florida clinic, though there was no actual purchase record for Peralta. He denies using, as they all do. Honestly, I don’t know why the Tigers re-signed him this offseason in the first place. But after this, I really hope they get aggressive in pursuing a better defensive player at SS, and somebody that is clean, too. Take your 12 home runs per year and your “vitamins” elsewhere, Johnny.

  How about the contract Felix Hernandez just got from Seattle? According to reports, it’s either 5 years at 135.5 million or 7 years at 175 million! Great for King Felix, bad news for teams with a young stud pitcher… like my Tigers! You know when Verlander’s deal expires, he’ll be looking for the same kind of money.

   Well, that’s all I’ve got for today folks. Thanks as always for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. Have a great weekend, Gabbers.

  Hello folks, and welcome to another Sexy Action Sports Saturday with your old pal, IHM. Hope everybody here had a great Christmas. Yours truly got to spend plenty of time with family, starting with a brunch with the in-laws, nieces and nephew on the 23^rd, dinner over at the wife’s grandpa’s house Christmas Eve, and my parents, sister and brother in law over for Christmas dinner. Even cooler, this year the boy actually opened his own presents. Might sound like a weird thing to most, especially since he’s six years old now, but being Autistic, this was the first time he actually sat down and opened what we got him for Christmas. Coolest thing we got him, the fold out piano from the movie BIG… he, of course, liked the Animal (from the Muppets) stuffed animal we got him better!

   This week, we’re just three days away from ringing in a new year. Many thought we’d never see it, because of the whole Mayan apocalypse thing… but personally I never bought into it. Something about taking the prognostication skills of a tribe that didn’t even see the Conquistadors coming just didn’t add up to me. But luckily, we all made it, and we’ll be welcoming in 2013 as if it were just another year. Before I get into ranting and raving about sports today, I’d just like to wish all of you nothing but the best in the new year. All the happiness, good health and good fortune you can handle.

    We’re also ringing out the 2012 NFL season this weekend. Most of the playoff picture has been determined going into this weekend, but the NFC East, final NFC wild card, and seeding in both leagues still have to be sorted out. Some teams control their own destiny, such as the Washington Redskins (or the Cowboys if you want to go that route), who merely have to beat Dallas at home to clinch the division and get into the playoffs for the first time in a decade. Too bad our old friend 3^rd Stone isn’t around to see the turnaround in RG3’s first year. You know he’d be loving it! Here’s hoping the Skins get the job done on Sunday night.

   In other NFL news, the Saints and Sean Payton agreed to terms on a five year extension, reportedly paying the suspended coach $7.5 million a year. Not bad for a guy that hasn’t done a damn thing in a year! But, with the team struggling the way it has this year in the wake of the Bounty scandals, it might have worked in his advantage to be out for what was assuredly going to be a dumpster fire of a season. Wonder if that will drive Sherriff Goodell a little bit crazier, especially with Payton and former DC Greg Williams being the only two suspensions that actually held up from the entire league investigation. If anything, he essentially made Sean Payton the highest paid coach in the NFL by suspending him a year and voiding his old contract. Just keeps getting funnier with this case.

  Calvin Johnson broke Jerry Rice’s single season receiving yards mark during yet another loss last week against the Falcons. He caught 11 passes for 225 yards with no TDs, and is just 108 yards shy of becoming the first receiver in NFL history to eclipse 2,000 yards in a single season. Honestly, it’s a nice accomplishment and I don’t want to take anything away from one of the NFL’s best players, especially since he’s a Lion… but it really doesn’t mean a whole hell of a lot to me with the Lions sitting at 4-11. Can they still play spoiler and beat the Bears Sunday? Yeah… but why bother. All that does is cost you precious slots on the draft board in April. Screw it… tank it… fuck the Vikings and the rest of em. Go for that higher draft pick and give up… kind of like you did against the Cardinals.

  Apparently there is a bounty of misinformation coming out of the New York Jets offices these days. First, it was wrongly reported that Tim Tebow asked out of the Wild Cat package as a pissy fit for not being named starter over McElroy and again when McElroy was injured and Rex Ryan went with Sanchez instead. Apparently, that was not the case. As much as we want  to hate on Tebow, you really can’t say the guy isn’t a team player and doesn’t give what he has to the team… even if he simply isn’t that good of a quarterback.

    Now, it’s reported that Rex Ryan would “welcome an exit” as head coach of the Jets. Now we all know that’s bullshit! Rex Ryan loves being in New York, and loves the attention that comes with it. Just seems that more and more often, we keep getting bullshit reports out of the media because everybody just wants to be first and doesn’t care about being right. This was about as unimportant of news as you can get, but a few weeks back during the shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary, we got a non-stop stream of bullshit information, just so nobody would turn off the TV. It makes me sick that we live in a world that is so concerned with being first that we no longer care about getting the fucking facts straight. Do we really need information that fast?

  How about some good news? Here it is… the Detroit Pistons have defeated the Miami Heat! That’s right… it’s a meaningless NBA regular season game, but the Pistons got the job done behind another big night from little Wil Bynum. He was money in the fourth quarter… knocking down four straight with just over four minutes left to go to seal the deal. How did this happen, you ask? Well, the Heat were without Dwayne Wade, who was serving his one-game suspension for kicking Ramon Sessions in the nads the other night. Wade claims it was inadvertent… I say that’s bullshit… but in the end, the only ones to suffer were Wade’s teammates. Way to go, jackass.

   Speaking of hot headed idiots… how about Dwight Howard. He says he’s going to “curtail his frustration” after being ejected the other night against Denver… a game the Lakers eventually lost in his absence. Honestly, did anybody ever think we’d find a bigger douchebag in the NBA (literally and figuratively) than LeBron? Howard is quickly approaching that status… while LeBron has recently shown us he’s learned from his past behavior and has actually been douche-free for the majority of the 2012-13 NBA season.

  As for the NHL… well, I have as much time and consideration for them as they do for their fans…

  And that’s all I’ve got for this week, folks. Thanks as always for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. Have a great week, and Happy New Year to you all.

  Well folks, it's been a hell of a week here in the Motor City, as the Detroit Tigers swept the Yankees right out of town, and the Lions even looked a bit like a professional football team for a day as they came back to beat the Eagles.

That's right, the Evil Empire has fallen once again, and the Detroit Tigers are going to the World Series. I know we beat the Yankees last year... and in '06... but does beating the Yankees EVER get old? Thanks to some great performances out of the starting pitching and most of the bullpen (Jose Valverde not included), the Tigers swept the Yankees right out of town, getting as many RBI from Delmon Young (6) as the Yankees scored runs the entire four-game series. And by the way, kudos to Jackie Autry for not changing that pre-written speech as the presenter for the ALCS MVP... still, not sure if "class act" is the route you want to go when describing Delmon Young!

But, with the ALCS in the books and the Tigers now awaiting the winner of the NLCS, I think it's time I acknowledged a couple of guys that I bash more than anybody. Jim Leyland and Dave Dombrowski, two guys whose jobs I have called for on several occasions. Once again, they have the Tigers in the World Series, and you can't really argue with the results. I just hope to hell we win it this time around. It was good to see the fans give them the ovation they got, too. Finally, how about a little love for Mike Ililtch, who has done a lot not only for the Tigers but for the city of Detroit as well. He's not exactly looking great, almost like he had a stroke, so hopefully the Tigers can get it done and get him the World Series ring he has coveted since he bought this team in the early 90's. If they don't win it this year, he might not be around next year... so let's win this for Mr. Illitch.

Before I move on, I have to give some credit to the “Evil Empire”, the team we beat, the New York Yankees. Don’t get me wrong, a trip to the World Series always means something, but when you beat the Yankees to get there, it means more. So, thanks for being so hateable, and for adding even more meaning to being the AL Champs.

  As for the NLCS, the Cardinals are up 3-2 after the Giants were able to stave off elimination last night at Busch Stadium behind a nice start from Barry Zito. For me, I have no preference who wins, as long as they’re ready to lose to the Tigers! Hopefully you burn each other out, take it to seven games, and don’t get enough rest between now and Wednesday.

  As for the other Motor City Kitties, the Detroit Lions actually wound up on the winning side of the scoreboard last Sunday, coming back to knock off the Eagles in OT. After the loss, the Eagles fired their DC Juan Castillo, a clear sign that Andy Reid is next if Michael Vick doesn’t stop passing the football around to opponents like it’s a blunt at Ron Mexico’s birthday party. Way to throw your DC under the bus, Reid.

  This week, the Lions get a major test in prime time as they head to Chicago to face the Bears on Monday Night Football. Honestly, the Lions-Bears matchup was the one that worried me going into the season (you know, BEFORE they lost to the fucking Vikings and Titans), the two-game series that I thought would be the deciding factor in whether or not this was a playoff team. Clearly, the Lions are not a playoff team. I’ll pick the Bears to win it, 24-17, while hoping the Lions prove me wrong again.

  As for the college football picks, well, as I have proven over the weeks, I suck at picking college football games, so we’re going to skip that portion of the program today! All I can say is go Aggies, go Gators (no offense, B-Dub, just to keep them ahead of Bama), and go Sparty! Wake the hell up and at least take out Michigan... because God knows that’s the last game of the year that is going to matter to you or your fans!

  The NHL has cancelled its’ regular season through November 1^st... and nobody cares.

  That’s all I’ve got for the week. Thanks as always for reading, and for any comments you leave on the way out. Have a great weekend, Gabbers.

  Welcome ladies and gentlemen to another jam packed edition of Sexy Action Sports Saturday with IHM. Opening weekend for the NFL, MLB pennant races heating up, and college football now in full swing makes this a big weekend for sports… my favorite time of the year. So, without further adieu, let’s get this thing started.

   Big news came down Friday as the NFL announced all four suspended players from the Saints’ bounty scandal, Saints LB Jonathan Vilma and DE Will Smith, Browns LB Scott Fujita, and currently unemployed DE Anthony Hargrove all are cleared to play this Sunday as a three member panel unanimously voted to overturn suspensions levied by the Sheriff. What a slap in the face for Godell… the panel citing he does not have the jurisdiction to hear players’ appeals, and therefore made a ruling that should have been made by an independent panel. So watch your backs, Redskins… the Saints head hunters are back in the fold this Sunday!

   There is still some possibility that Goodell could suspend all players that had been previously suspended, but he would likely have to show the proof he claims to have, as players would appeal and continue to play during their appeals. Honestly, I was all for the suspensions, these guys deserved to sit… but the way Goodell went about it was all wrong. No word yet on whether this ruling will affect the coaches suspended by the NFL as a result of the bounty program, including Gregg Williams and Sean Payton, both of whom are out a year. Either way, not a good day to be Roger Goodell.

  HEY LOOK… THAT REFEREE HAS A VAGINA!

  Yeah, during Sunday’s Lions-Rams game the NFL will have its’ first female referee take the field. Look, I’m all for equality when it comes to women and men, but why the hell did we really need this? And is it even a good step for women in sports if the only reason this gal gets on the field to officiate is because the regular referees are on strike? Is it a step forward in any way shape or form for anybody? I don’t think so. If I’m her, I say thanks but no thanks and keep working on getting into the regular referee’s union, not becoming the first female ref on a technicality. Otherwise, the whole thing is as tainted as it is pointless in my eyes.

  As for this weekend’s game, I’ll take the Lions to win, 35-27. As nervous as I am about this team this year, I think they take care of business in the opener.

  The Cleveland Browns will heed commissioner Goodell’s call to honor late former owner Art Modell during Sunday’s game. Not exactly sure how well THAT’s going to go over with the crowd, but they’ll do it all the same. Honestly, I can’t say I wouldn’t boo Art Modell’s memory if I were in the crowd and a Browns fan. Look, the guy uprooted the team overnight and took off, didn’t really even make an effort to stay in the city of Cleveland. I don’t know if he was too proud, too stupid, or whatever to ask the city for more help in getting a new stadium, but the city of Cleveland has been more than generous in the past with helping professional sports teams build new facilities. Around the same time, the Cavs and the Indians got new stadiums, and Cleveland is really a football town! They would have done what it takes to keep the Browns in Cleveland. I never got why somebody dying exonerates them, no matter what they might have done.

   I’ll come right out and say it, fuck Art Modell, dead or alive. As for his being a “lock” for the Hall of Fame as one local radio jackass said, I don’t see why he would be. He did a lot to bring the game to the spot it is in now, aside from the Cleveland thing, but just because somebody died does not suddenly make them a necessary fixture in a Hall of Fame. I say keep him out… don’t vote for him this year because he’s dead when you didn’t think he was worth your vote last year.

   Switching gears now to college ball, we’ll get to see the premiere of a couple of new SEC members in league play as Texas A&M welcomes the Florida Gators to College Station, and the Missouri Tigers take on the Georgia Bulldogs. A part of me wants to see the new guys do well, but another part of me wants to see the SEC lay the wood to them for screwing over the Big 12… even though the Big 12 probably deserves it for letting Texas do whatever the hell it wants TV-deal wise, and leaves the rest of the schools in the conference to rot. Either way, should be a couple of solid games on a weekend where good games might just be at a premium thanks to the fact that there is no longer any benefit to scheduling a quality non-conference opponent in college football!

   While I’m talking college ball, I’d like to give this week’s shut the fuck up award to Michigan State coach Mark D’Antonio… but for a good reason!  This week he said his players need to “shut the hell up” when it comes to social media trash talk of Michigan and most notably Michigan QB Denard Robinson. Several players on Sparty’s defensive team made comments about Robinson during the Michigan-Alabama game. Some of D’Antonio’s comments included that he “remembers two years ago when Alabama was busy rolling US” and “maybe some of these guys should worry about getting onto the field and not tweeting about a future opponent”! Honestly, how stupid can you be? Look, Robinson was garbage against Alabama’s defense, which is more like an NFL defense than any other in college football. I have a feeling a LOT of quarterbacks are going to look bad against Alabama the rest of the year! It’s just great to hear a coach willing to reprimand his players where it’s going to hurt most… in the media. Honestly, I don’t see why college teams can’t just ban twitter in the first place. Want to play for me, quit with the damn tweeting! This isn’t the first twitter related incident we’ve seen in college or pro sports, and it likely won’t be the last. Let’s kill this thing while we still can! So Mark D’Antonio, I salute you…

   The real winner of this week's shut the fuck up award... Jonathan Vilma, who tweeted "VICTORY IS MINE - Stewie Griffin" upon learning his suspension was overturned. You might be playing again... but you're still a douche. I hope somebody blows your fucking knee out this weekend, asshat.

    Before I call it a week, just wanted to say how great it is to see the races we have going in Major League Baseball coming down the stretch. Hell, the AL East has three teams vying for two spots (unless they end up with both Wild Cards), all three separated by just two games. In a perfect world, the Yankees are out and the Orioles and Rays are in… but we’ll see how it all plays out. The Tigers and White Sox are just a game apart in the Central, and the Rangers seem to have the West won, with the A’s and Angels still contending for a Wild Card berth. Over in the NL, there isn’t much for division races, the Giants and Dodgers out West is the closest thing we’ve got to that, but the Wild Card is still wild, with the Braves and Cards holding on to slight leads, and the Pirates and Dodgers within two games. Even the D-Backs are just a hot week out, sitting 6.5 games behind St. Louis. Should be a great end to the season… and I’m hoping the Tigers get their shit together and win this damn AL Central.

  That’s all I’ve got for this week folks. Thanks as always for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. Have a great weekend everybody… and please enjoy this: My wife found it earlier this week and I've been laughing about it ever since!

  Top of the mornin’ to ya, Gabbers, and welcome to Sexy Action Sports Saturday with IHM. Honestly, I didn’t know what the hell I was going to write about this week, but then the rumors started swirling out of LA/Boston that a mega-deal was in the works between the Dodgers and Red Sox.

   Cash-wise, it’s one of the biggest deals in the history of baseball. The Red Sox would send over 250 million in salary to the Dodgers in the form of Adrian Gonzalez, Carl Crawford, and Josh Beckett (I didn’t forget about Nick Punto… he only makes up 1.4 million of the total, though). In return, the Red Sox would get James Loney, the Dodgers top prospect De La Rosa, and a few other prospects. In short, the Dodgers continue to add talent, even after the deadline. Hell, you’re talking about a team that picked up Shane Victorino and Hanley Ramirez at the non-waiver trade deadline earlier this season. In terms of the talent actually being moved in this trade, though, the Red Sox might actually be getting the best of the Dodgers here. Loney still has a lot of potential, although he’s likely filling the first base position until he is a free agent at the end of the season, and De La Rosa is expected to be a top of the line starter. Gonzalez is a great hitter, solid defensive first baseman, and a solid addition to the Dodgers. Beckett has been garbage for the past month… but still has the ability to shut down a lineup when he has his shit together. Crawford needs to get healthy… the Dodgers won’t see him til 2013.

   The real question is, what does this trade mean for the Dodgers? We all know what it means for the Red Sox… it’s a towel thrown in and a new edition of the “wait til next year” that Red Sox Nation had become so accustomed to in previous years. It was a needed move, though. You shed two terrible contracts in Beckett and Crawford, and you only really lose Adrian Gonzalez, a guy who by himself is not exactly going to win you any World Series. If any of the prospects pan out, Boston really gets the better of the deal in my mind. For the Dodgers, it’s new ownership felxing their spending muscle to their fan base, as well as the rest of baseball. Does it guarantee a playoff spot for LA… not necessarily. The Giants are playing great baseball of late, and are 3 games up on the Dodgers. With the quality of San Fransisco’s rotation coupled with the fact that, yeah, Melky Cabrera is suspended, but now Hunter Pence steps in for him, they’re not going anywhere. If the Dodgers want this trade to pay any immediate dividends, Gonzalez has to play at an MVP level and even Beckett needs to win a couple games for you down the stretch.

   Either way you look at it, this has the potential to be one of the biggest deals in baseball history… and the fact that it has even hit the rumor mill means changes are coming in Boston, and the LA Dodgers are looking to challenge the NY Yankees in terms of payroll.

    How about the week former Dodger and Red Sox third baseman Adrian Beltre is having? First, he hits three home runs in a game on Wednesday, then Friday night, he hits for the cycle. The last time anybody has done that in one week… Joe DiMaggio in 1948. A little somethin’ for you old timers out there. Still, a hell of a week for Beltre, a guy I’m STILL pissed off the Tigers didn’t try to sign before he went to Texas!

   Hey Roger Clemens, you are a cheat and an attention whore. Hey ESPN, fuck you for even doing an interview with this tool. He’s throwing 87 MPH in the independent league. If he DOES make a Major League comeback as a marketing promotion, I hope the fans in Houston come out to boo him, and he gets lit up for five or six runs in two innings or so. Hey Rocket, I hear they’re big on PED users out west a little more! (sorry BOB, had to throw that little jab out there).

  As for the NFL, the biggest story, to me, is the fact that Maurice Jones-Drew is now talking trade. He’s holding out, despite the fact that his dumb ass just signed his current contract two years ago, and now he says he’d be open to being traded out of Jacksonville (as would 85% of the rest of that roster). Lions, listen the fuck up, please. Hell, If I’m Martin Mayhew, I give up three years of 2^nd rounders to bring this guy into the fold… if you even have to give up that much. The Jags are getting nothing out of him right now, so they might go for a 2^nd and 4^th round pick next year, or two 2^nd rounders the next two years and a 4^th rounder in 2014… who the hell knows… all I do know is that when teams trade a guy like this, the price is usually a lot lower than people expected. Make it happen, Marty. Can you imagine this offense with an actual, talented player at running back? Good lord! Plus the guy blocks well AND can catch the ball out of the backfield? Hell, I even throw in Mikeal Leshoure and an ounce of weed (plus whatever you can pick out of his teeth) to sweeten the deal for Jacksonville! Get on the damn phone, Mayhew… make this deal happen.

   Finally, before I hang ‘em up for the week, I’d like to make a simple request to ESPN… please shut the fuck up about the New York Jets. I know you love their backup QB… and their “minority” Mexican-American starting QB… and their fat, loud-mouthed head coach… and all the old “Broadway Joe” nostalgia… but this is a fucking .500 football team AT BEST. The offensive/defensive lines SUCK out loud. It doesn’t matter who their starting QB is… it’s hard to do much of anything from your back as an NFL QB. How about talking about a different football team in New York… you know, one that actually HAS their shit together? One with a two-time Super Bowl winner at QB, who catapulted himself into elite quarterback status last season, one that built itself the right way, that has a coach that isn’t a “quote machine”… but that gets the job done? Let’s talk about those guys please… and never hear about the fucking Jets again. I hope Tebow breaks his hymen being tackled during practice, I hope “Sanchize” just plain sucks again, and I hope Rex Ryan has a massive coronary on the sideline one day. On a side note, fuck Rex Ryan and his entire family of overrated, loud-mouthed football coaches. What have any of you ever won? Oh yeah, NOTHING.

   Honestly, though, how often do you see a New York team get this LITTLE attention? The Giants have won two Super Bowls this decade… hell, it’s even more fun of a team to watch than the Jets… the Jets are just a fucking trainwreck on BOTH sides of the ball right now. At least the Giants look good on both sides. Hell, Eli looked great last night against the Bears. Granted, it’s preseason, but I can’t remember ever watching a Jets game and seeing anything that resembled professional football. Hopefully the dipshits over at “the worldwide leader” figure this the fuck out, just as much for the purpose of this being a fair and just world as for my sanity.

   That’s all I’ve got for the week, folks. Thanks as always for reading and for any comments you leave on the way out. Have a great weekend, Gabbers.