(Love that Luke and Laura...)

Just when you think all the soap operas were cancelled...

Here come the Olympics...

And contrary to popular belief...

The Olympiad is not a sporting event...

It’s a novela...

No sleazy sleaze or anything like that...

No cheating, foreplay, murders, or jail time...

Just good clean programming...

Intended to draw a female audience...

(Disclaimer:  Gentlemen not included...)

Mushy features between events...

Feminine product commercials...

Simply put...

It’s programmed for women...

More gymnastics...

Synchronized swimming...

And less real sports...

Like team handball...

And fencing...

Why do they call it fencing???

Do you see a fence???

What I see is offensive...

I’m a manly man...

A dude...

Treat the Olympics like a sporting event...

Not a ballet...

I don’t care about Petr Zchyvinovic from the Czech Republic...

And how he nearly died...

While battling some rare disease in his pinky toe...

Save the sappy music...

Put away the violins...

No heartwarming or heartwrenching tear jerkers...

I wanna watch sports...

Scrap the tea and crumpets...

I want my Maypo...

Oh well...

It doesn’t matter anyways...

I’ll probably know the results before it’s aired...

Taped twelve hours ago...

And I’d have to be a hermit to NOT know what happened...

So while you girlie men are watching the Olympics...

I’ll watch be watching something a lot more masculine...

Like a Dallas rerun...

dvt

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​http://www.insurancejournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/dallas-tv-show_-300x300.jpg