Welcome to another edition of Sports Shorts. This week, we're sending up C.C. Sabathia, slapping around Michael Vick, and learning to read from Jerry Richardson, among other enlightening tidbits.

Enjoy!

• C.C. Sabathia dropped 25 pounds before reporting for Spring Training earlier this week. The weight loss will mean there is one less roll of fat for the Yankees to hide A.J. Burnett behind during the coming season. 

• Tiger Woods was fined by the European Tour for spitting on a green during the Dubai Classic. In a statement, Woods said he intends to hire a “coach” to help him learn to swallow properly so that it doesn’t happen again. 

• Michael Vick was officially slapped with the franchise tag by the Philadelphia Eagles. There have been no comments on whether or not he’ll have to wear it on a collar around his neck. 

• During a recent labor negotiation meeting, Carolina Panthers owner Jerry Richardson offered to teach Peyton Manning how to read a revenue Chart. In response, Manning offered to Carolina officials how to read a scouting report. 

• Peter Forsberg recently retired after a two-game comeback with the Colorado Avalanche. Brett Favre is said to be looking into the strategy. 

• One of these things is not like the other…one of these just doesn’t belong… maybe Cliff Lee know...

• Anybody else like the idea of Donald Trump buying The Mets for no other reason but holding a press conference and telling his manager, “You’re Fired!”? 

• Ken Griffey Jr. was hired back by the Mariners as a special consultant. Unfortunately, he missed the press conference to introduce him after falling asleep in the clubhouse. 

• The Milwaukee Brewers agreed to a 5-year, $50 million extension with second baseman Rickie Weeks. Weeks immediately hurt his wrist signing the deal and will be out for 8-10 weeks. 

• The owners of the Atlanta Thrashers recently admitted that the team may be moved if further financial support wasn't secured shortly. The team's lone fan was said to be very disappointed. 

Lance Armstrong announced that he has decided to completely retire from competitive cycling to spend more time with his family. His competitors meanwhile question whether he has the ball to compete any longer.