You may or may not have seen the uproar on the four-letter network earlier this week when news broke out that the media's favorite target - Cam Newton - had the audacity to let his marketing agency book him for an autograph session for memorabilia collectors (and fans) that charged $125 and up for his signature.
Oh the humanity! An NFL star signing autographs for people and charging them so they don't take advantage of his free autograph and sell it on ebay for $500+. God forbid he get paid for his time from his marketing firm, and God forbid his marketing firm make a little coin on the side for having an NFL star to market to the masses.
Now, I wouldn't have a problem with this media shit storm if they were fair across the board. Ok, I'll give you a few minutes to clean the soda off your monitor after reading the words "media" and "fair" in the same sentence (because we know they can't all be fair and balanced like Fox News). Alright...now that you've cleaned your monitor, allow me to get to the point of my beef with the media.
First of all, if you're going to criticize Cam for charging fans for autographs, at least get your shit straight and know that he's not charging anyone for anything. He was paid by a marketing firm to show up and sign stuff. He gets paid whether he signs 5000 autographs or he signs none. It doesn't matter to him how much money people pay the firm to get his signature. He has no control over the price of the ticket. He was paid by the hour to show up.
Now that we've got that misconception out of the way, let's look at another problem that I have with the flack he's taken. It's one thing to criticize athletes for charging people for autographs, but it's totally different to pick and choose which ones you criticize and which ones you don't. Hey mediots, in case you didn't know this - all athletes do the same thing Cam did, and they do it all the time. Let me just drop a few names for you: Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Aaron Rodgers, and - as hard as this is to believe - Tim Tebow. What do all those names have in common? They ALL charge people for autograph sessions, and some of them are far more expensive than Cam Newton's was (of course, Brady, Manning, and Rodgers are more established stars, but the point still remains).
In case you didn't know this already mediots, Cam isn't the only one to make money off his name. All athletes do this, and it's fucking pathetic that you would single him out just to move an agenda during the offseason. If you want to stir the pot, why don't you talk about how Tim Tebow charges $50 extra to put a Bible verse on your football? Huh? What was that? Yes, the super-duper throw Jesus in your face Tim Tebow makes money off the Bible. I don't know which verse he quotes when people pony up the extra coin, but I hope it's the verse about Jesus throwing the money changers out of the temple, because you know I love some irony.
Now, before I go any further I must say this, because it's important. I don't care that Tebow makes extra money for writing a Bible verse on stuff he signs. It doesn't bother me in the least. What bothers me is that it's ok for him to do this, but it's not ok for Cam Newton to charge money for his autograph. It's a double standard, and it's bullshit. There's no other word for it.
I'm sure some will say that the issue with Cam is that he did the autograph signing in Charlotte, which is his current hometown. I would counter that with "what's the difference"? Are you telling me that no other athlete has ever held an autograph signing for money in their home town? I find that hard to believe.
And even if Cam is the first to do this (which I doubt he is), why don't we harp on that and conveniently ignore the countless free autographs he gives out to fans during training camp, and the countless hours he spends giving kids autographs in the community when he visits schools, hospitals, etc. Let's not talk about those things he does, because God forbid we paint him in a positive light. I guess the media needs a villain, and they're comfortable making Cam Newton that villain.
Well media, all I've got to say about it is fuck you with a steel dick. You know just as much as I do that Cam's not a villain. You know just as much as I do that he's a good kid, and it's about time you stop spinning the facts to fit your agenda. It's time you start calling shit for what it is, instead of calling it for what you want us to believe.
Will I ever pay $125 for Cam Newton to sign a football for me? Hell no. But that doesn't mean I think he's the scum off the bottom of my shoe. No, that designation is reserved for the media dickheads who've made it their personal agenda to spin every Cam Newton story in a way to make him look bad when there's no facts to support it. But go ahead and spin your webs, media. Cam could use a few more quotes for his bulletin board that he uses to drive him to work harder so he can be the best QB he can possibly be. And don't worry about the autograph story, because I'm sure that something else will come along that you can spin to fit your "we hate Cam" agenda soon enough.
In the mean time, why don't you pay your favorite child Timmy a visit? When you do, make sure you bring an extra $50 with you so he can quote you his favorite Bible verse. You'll need that for the next time you need to remind us that he's the greatest human being on the planet - because you know that we need you to tell us that every so often so we never forget.
That's all I've got for this week. If you have anything you'd like to add, feel free to add it in the comments section.
Until next Monday...