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Tool of the Week Volume 13 Tags: Michael Vick Goodell NFL Rae Carruth


It’s become almost customary to open up a newspaper and read a headline of an NFL player being arrested for some sort of mishap, usually brought on by poor judgment and their upbringing. We all know that you can take the kid out of the hood but you can’t take the hood out of the kid. Alan Iverson for one, he had his troubles in Hampton Virginia and did jail time after being found guilty of assault on a woman with a chair in a bowling alley. We’ve seen Ray Carruth sentenced to life in prison for the hit placed on his wife and unborn child because he didn’t want to pay alimony. I could go on and put up a 5,000 word essay just on arrest and convictions of NFL players but you get the picture.

Michael Vick is probably the most notorious of the current NFL class. His conviction on federal racketeering and dog fighting charges got him time in the federal pokey and when he emerged from behind bars told us all he was a changed man, that he had made many bad choices and he’s now seen the error of his ways and he told us he’d find a way to make amends by his actions so he could garner the trust of the fans. Well he’s been out of prison now about a year, and once again he has made his way into the headlines, and it’s apparent his initial statements are now under some scrutiny. Instead of having been away from the night club where his birthday party was going on prior to a shooting, it turns out from video that he may have lied, and done so while on probation. I don’t know the exact terms of this probation, but I do know that it generally includes no contact with police or known felons, and, it usually says that you are not to go into establishments where alcohol is served. Now, could you tell me that this night club was free of ex-cons or parolees and booze? Didn’t think so!

When he was released from prison I wrote that it wouldn’t be long before we heard Vick was involved in some off-field skirmish, and so I take great pride in being right…as if it was a stretch to get that prediction correct. What we’ll obvious see from the Commissioner Goodell, the king of multiple chances, the prince of forgiveness, the master of looking out for the owners and the bottom line is absolutely nothing. What’s the most Vick would get if he was to be found having lied to the police, a 3 game suspension and some counseling followed by another heartfelt press conference stating how he’s seen the light and the error of his ways, AGAIN? That’s been the trend hasn’t it? It makes it all better and why shouldn’t it? The fans never seem to tire of it, the NFL continuously gives passes to these scumbags and the stadiums where they play still fill-up and they are cheered when they run on the field. How quickly they forget.

Well I’m here to tell you that those who are members of the Gab are not a very forgiving bunch, we’re sick of the bullshit, we’re tired of over-paid crybabies who will do whatever they can to increase their bottom line while going through life thinking the rules don’t apply to them. Vick, who had plenty of time to pump iron and of course find his Lord and Savior, has again found himself in hot water, and maybe he likes it, it’s possible like many of his brethren he’s institutionalized, perhaps he found out Robert Braddy from Dimesports occupies the cell he used to have and wants to go back and talk about the old days when they gambled and bilked people out of their money.

 So until his probation officer files for a violation and returns him back to where he belongs in the first place I’ve got my job to do, and that’s to speak for those who nominated him in the first place…so without much further ado I present Michael Vick this week’s Gold Plunger by Binford as our Tool of the Week! No, don’t come up to the podium Michael, we’ll mail it to you, my dog is here and even though I can’t stand the little bastard I’m the only one who can hit the remote to zap him with his electric collar. So don’t even think about it, and good luck in prison!


                                     We Won't Get Fooled Again, The Who from the Kids are Alright!

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