Gabbers, family, and friends strap in because I’m going in a different direction this week. Yeah, I’ll talk about sport, but before I get into whatever it is I’m trying to say, I had the pleasure of reading storminnorman’s blog/discussion regarding guitar solos. Beeze and others had turned me on to Zakk Wylde (who up until last week I had never heard of). But I wanted to show one other who I had been impressed with:
Jeff Healey was an incredible talent who left this Earth far before his time, and although outside of my usual musical taste, every once in a while I enjoy checking out some of his music.
While I’m at it, I can’t believe I forgot one of the best ever, B. B. King:
Welcome to the tantrums, where I don’t give a damn about the NFL Conference Championship games or anything else in sports right now, I am outraged and not willing to take it anymore. I have found my purpose in life and after you read my rant, I know that you Gabbers will be ready to join me in my struggle.
Rant of the Week – Canyon School District, Utah. Get this, a new high school is opening up in 2013, and the prospective students were given the opportunity to vote on their mascot. The kids innocently enough I believe voted for a Cougar, perhaps based on nearby BYU. Well, guess where this story goes? Yep, the kids can’t use that nickname because stupid politicians believe that the term “Cougar” carries and ugly connotation that is disrespectful to women according to a principal there.
You know what Principal, you’re absolutely right – and you have inspired me. For 47 years, I have looked for a purpose in life - and now I’ve found my calling. I cannot in all good conscience sit on the sidelines and allow this travesty to continue. I’ve had enough of this and I’m not gonna take it anymore. Screw the tea parties and occupy movements, I am going begin a movement known as the “UGLY CONNOTATION IN SCHOOL MASCOTS POLICE”!
My first act in this crusade - On principle, I am going out to South Dakota and pull my son out of the University of Sioux Falls (A Christian University, by the way!) because their mascot (Cougar) is disrespectful of women. I’m going to go right up to that school and tell them to take their scholarship and shove it. I will not allow Jerry to be brainwashed into this blatant and obvious degradation of women!
But you know what, I’m not stopping at Cougar! Let’s eliminate any mascot name that can be linked to cats because we all know that any reference to cats has an ugly connotation to a part of the female anatomy – you know as in P***y cats! That is so offensive to me! It took every fiber in my being to put that word on here. Don’t you dare make me do it again!
Since we're dealing with mascot names with ugly connotations, let's remove these:
Mustangs – Has a connotation related to the Mustang Ranch in Nevada, a cathouse (oops, that’s a PC violation too – guess I should have said “house of ill repute”).
Buffalos – Has a negative connotation concerning thick women.
Jaguars – Has a negative connotation concerning the spoils of the rich (think driving Jageewires the car!)
Giants & Titans – Has a negative (and perhaps false?) connotation to male anatomy size. I’m offended.
Cowboys – Because Cowgirls aren’t included.
Buccaneers and Raiders – Because it’s offensive to those with one-eye.
Saints – Because they are blaspheming. Who in New Orleans is Holy?
Browns – An ugly connotation that they play like shit. On second thought, I might not fight that one…
Bears – Negative connotation to hairy men! Since we’re being PC here, I’ll let you all take that one step further…
Packers – I’ll let you figure that one out how that's offensive.
Red Wings – This has an ugly connotation and I’m offended by this team name!
Canucks – Negative connotation to the great Canadian people.
Brewers – Ugly connotation towards that which glorifies beer consumption. We can’t have that.
Rangers – Offensive to the GREAT Chuck Norris.
Oilers – Ugly connotation honoring those greedy nasty Oil barons who destroy the environment.
Flames – Ugly connotation when used as an adjective in front of a description of a certain group of people.
Ain’t being PC great? Does my idea sound silly? It makes about as much sense as those idiots in Utah, eh? Perhaps these freaks would do well to realize how silly their ideas sound. Can we please instill some common sense into our leaders?
NFL. I have hated Eli Manning (and his dad Archie) since he manipulated his crying ass right out of San Diego, that will never change. But let me tell you, this guy took an ass-whooping and kept on coming. He's truly become a great QB.
Here’s the funny part, the Patriots continue to win and yet I never hear a backlash, I wonder why? Could it be because they don’t talk, they just go out and win. Dallas and NYJ – do you see what keeping your traps shut and focusing on team football can do?
Hey 49er fan, when I said to be more passionate, that didn’t mean for you to go all gangsta. How ridiculous have you been throwing beatdowns on opposing teams fans, and now threatening the life of Kyle Williams? You are a bunch of scumbags. To borrow a line from Sam Wyche – ahem – 49er fans represent San Francisco, not Oakland, act right! Jesus, you morons take all the fun out of claiming to be a 49er fan. To have to defend your actions just flat out sucks. In fact, YOU SUCK!
OK, I’ve had some time to think about it. Kyle Williams made some bad mistakes that cost the team ten points, but he manned up and faced the media like I asked. My niece pointed out to me (rightly) that the offense didn’t conduct a third down until overtime. That’s probably even worse, definitely unacceptable. Oh, and to those who went on Twitter and wished death on Williams - you are lame! What I said on Facebook last night was bad enough, but you internet tough guys are despicable little d-bags. Just stay in your mother's basement, you twisted little trolls.
Finally before I forget, Happy Australia Day to the boys down under on Thursday. This just means that we're starting to get close to Australian Rules Football. Haven't heard a rant from the Angry Aussie lately, and that might be a good thing.