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When the Going Gets Weird
Category: FEATURED
Tags: NHL Mo's Tavern


Earlier this week I found myself in Sully’s presence.  It was like one of those Dr. Who reruns where they just land in a point in time.  BANG!  Sully is sitting across the table from me.  True story – all of it.  There I am in this suburb of Atlanta, watching the Falcons steal a game, and noshing on onion rings.  “Mo, we need you to fill in.” 

Now, of course, I’m always one to have an ego stroking, so I wiped my mouth on my “Buy Mo’s Tavern Merch” t-shirt (yeah, I still have a few of them around), and I let him speak to my ego.  All was going well – I mean too well – when he made his last effort, “Dude, you gotta do it.”  That’s when I said that I wasn’t sure I could do it, I’m kinda busy, etc. and he said, “Okay, I understand.” 

Now, waitaminute.  That’s not how this is supposed to go.  Now, I’m stuck.  I totally need this gig – this  goddamn “Mo’s Tavern”  swag hasn’t sold in years, it’s killing me in inventory and  fixed overhead costs, I mean I need the publicity.  I’m withering on the vine here.  So I make a final effort to save face, “well, I mean you made the special effort to get me here to listen to you, the least I could do is perhaps consider it a little more before I give you the blanket ‘no.’”   He’s got me and he knows it.  “No, man.  I hear ya.  You’re a busy guy and all.” 

I’ve got no choice now, I’ve got to hand it over.  “Fine Sully.  Since you put it that way, I’ll do it.”  And that’s how we got here.  Kinda.  See, what I hadn’t quite accounted for was the dentist appointment I had the following day.  Let’s just say it was something more than a tooth ache and something less than having my jaw surgically removed while the side of my head was beaten with a bat.   By the time I sat down to write this, my face was a tad swollen and I was busy scarfing jello.  The going was definitely getting weird.     

So I’ve had a little time to think about what to say, and I’ve come up with this – gotta keep up with your intellectual property.  Some dude in New York decided since it wasn’t being used anymore, “Mo’s Pub & Grill” would be a good thing to name his place.  Now, that it’s being used doesn’t bother me so much, but a “family friendly” adjunct to the local Holiday Inn?  Seriously?  That’s sacrilege, and it’s my fault for not maintaining my IP. Damnit, Beavis. 

Even greater sacrilege has got to be the NHL owners pushing yet another season to the brink of extinction.  Outside of the true believers though, and maybe I’m just not surrounding myself with enough people who care, but there doesn’t seem to be the outrage – there was more upset about replacement refs at the start of the NFL season than there is about no hockey.  The really funny part is that the owners are trying to show they’re serious, but their stars actually have options – the NHL needs the Ovetchkins and the Crosbys far more than they need the NHL.  When and if an agreement is reached, I think you’d have to wonder if Alexander will want to come back from the motherland and if Sid the Kid will be in anything close to playing shape.  In my opinion, the Cup Trustees really should exercise their privilege as owners of the Stanley Cup and award it to a non-NHL team.  If the league really wants to engage in this slow, self destruction the trustees should take matters into their own hands and arrange a swift execution.  A court settlement was reached in 2006, and it affirmed the trophy’s trustees the opportunity — but not the obligation — to “award the Stanley Cup to a non-NHL team in any year in which the NHL fails to organize a competition to determine a Stanley Cup winner.”  The NHL does understand that’s a risk, but the trustees have thusfar failed to act.  The Canadian Hockey League Players Association (CHLPA) has petitioned for the right to award the cup. 

So here’s my recommendation – you’re not going to stop Gary Bettman and Donald Fehr from flopping out their manhoods and comparing them, so let’s take the argument to daddy.  Pressure is going on the wrong people: mediation between the NHL and NHLPA?  Bah.  Take it to Trustees Brian O’Neil and Ian Morrison.  These two have thusfar done nothing.  Were these folks called out in the media, and political pressure applied to these two people who really do have the power to threaten the NHL in a way no one else can to threaten to award the cup to a non NHL team – we’d see this dispute settled quickly. 

And when that happens, its then the going gets really weird and that’s when the really weird go pro.

LAST WORD: Our man IHateMillen is raising cash to support juvenile cancer patients - this cat is going to shave his head to raise awareness and money for a cure.  Now, I'd probably throw more money at him for him to shave his ass, but  I threw a couple of bucks for his efforts at him anyway.  You should too. Donate here.  And when you do, maybe you'll get some of the Old Mo's Tavern swag while it lasts.   

Peace out.

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