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Hi...

My name is Biff...

I really don’t pay much attention to sports...

If I go to a game...

I like to cherry pick...

Just the big games, thank you...

Especially when a team’s running hot in the playoffs...

Wanna see some of my sports stuff???

Here’s my old Florida Marlins jersey...

I used to be a big Marlins fan...

Back when they were good...

Sorry...

Can’t think of any of the players’ names...

But they sure were good...

That’s back when I lived in Florida...

Went to the World Series...

Every game...

Both times...

You shoulda seen me...

All geared up in Marlins gear...

And that was about the time the Panthers won the Cup...

Went to every game of the Finals of course...

I didn’t even know the Panthers existed...

Until they got on their playoff roll...

I pulled out money from my foreign investments...

The rich guy that I am...

And was able to procure some excellent seats...

Thus driving up the price...

And keeping real fans from going to the games...

'Cus I got tons of money...

Bandwagon Biff they call me...

And I can’t really tell you much about those games...

I was on my cell phone most of the time...

While I was listening to my ipod...

At the snack bar...

Ordering my sushi...

And super nachos...

I did throw one of those plastic rats on the ice...

When the other team scored...

Everybody yelled at me...

No big deal...

My car is nicer than their's any ways...

And I haven’t attended a Panthers game since...

But I still like the Florida Marlins...

Because Jim Leyland is the manager...

Buffy and I live in Los Angeles now...

The City of Angels...

Lots of beautiful people...

And I am the biggest Kings fan ever, dude...

Just got my Kings hat the other day...

I don’t know the names of the players...

But they’re all real good...

Just bought my Stanley Cup Finals tickets...

Paid a pretty penny for them...

I loved their last game...

When they scored a goal in the 4th quarter to win...

--

Enough, Biff...

I’m ready to puke...

We have tons of laws in this country...

And there’s plenty of room for a few more...

Specifically directed at the Bandwagon Biffs of the world...

My son Ryan...

Who is irritated with all the LA King Bandwagoning...

Along with myself...

Compiled a few of these laws...

So...

For your dining and dancing pleasure...

Here are the Ten Commandments of Bandwagoning...

Commandment Number One...

Thou shalt not purchase a playoff ticket unless you’ve been to at least one regular season game that year...

Number Two...

To go to a championship, thou shalt have to have had team apparel that you bought the season prior to the playoff run... with proof of purchase...

Number Three...

Thou shalt must be able to name four players on the current roster and two former players...

Fourth Commandment...

If thou decideth to begin rooting for a team the year they win the championship, thou must commit to watching 70% their games each year for the next ten years...

Number Five...

Thou shalt take and pass a competency pass on the rules of the game...

Sixth Commandment...

Thou shalt actually watch the game, not the celebrities on the Jumbo-Tron...

Number Seven...

Thou shalt not fly one of those team pennant flags on your Audi...

Eighth Commandment...

Thou shalt only access thy StubHub account once per season unless thou has previously bought a mini-plan...

With proof of purchase...

Number Nine...

Thou must sitteth in the nosebleed seats unless thou art able to recall the name of the dance team...

The Tenth Commandment...

Thou shalt only pay face price for your tickets and only through Ticketmaster if thou hast violated any of the above commandments...

Hopefully that will deter the Bandwagoneers

from infiltrating our arenas...

Feel free to add a few more commandments...

The more, the merrier...

dvt

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MvEYWJiWsk4/TmEXk8Bdh9I/AAAAAAAAAJc/zOc6fhoUXsg/s400/BAndwagon.jpg

http://media.miamiherald.com/smedia/2012/04/21/22/19/OHJX.St.56.jpg